In this article, I will share 12 patterns to shift to authentic purpose and generosity. The first eight patterns are based on past behaviors. Seeing and shifting with new options occurs in pattern nine. Pattern 12 is where we are present and co-create newly in every moment.
I often ask the question, in what ways can I support myself and my clients to notice the difference between perceived values and behaviors that come from reaction, fear, pain avoidance, and survival disguised as purpose and shift to noticing authentic values, behaviors, and purpose that come from a deep wisdom of love, wholeness, and unity?
I invite you to explore with me the 12 patterns to shift to authentic purpose and generosity.
Note: I chose to write the majority of this article in the first person as a way to be personable, to own, and to be responsible for what I am sharing.
Pattern 1 – Strolling in Life
In the first pattern, I am strolling along in life occasionally noticing things that I do like and things I don’t like.
Pattern 2 – What Energizes Me?
I notice the things I do like seem to energize me and I tell myself how much I do want these things in my life.
The things I don’t like seem to bother me even more and I notice how much I don’t want these things in my life.
Pattern 3 – Give Me More and Less
I begin to look for things that appear to be aligned with what I do like and I want more of these things.
I avoid the things that I don’t like that annoy me and I want less of these things.
Pattern 4 – Promoting and Persuading
I go around telling people about the things I like that are great and suggesting others might like them too.
I also suggest the things that I don’t like might be things others might not like too.
I seek out people who like the same things I like. I also start to spend less time with people who like the things I dislike.
Pattern 5 – Apparent Purpose
I may even start declaring my purpose in life based on fighting for the things I like and fighting against the things I don’t like and thinking the rest of the world should be this way too.
Pattern 6 – Unmet Needs
I see the things I like and I see the things I don’t like appear as if they may be related to childhood or teenage unmet needs or needs that were once fulfilled that are no longer fulfilled.
I may then feel frustrated, angry, resentful, and even sad and look at who were the people in my life (often relatives, peers, and or teachers) who were involved with the things I liked and who were involved with the things I didn’t like. I may start to attribute falsely a sense of cause and effect that the people who were involved with the things I like are really what I like and more people like them would be great and that the people who were involved with the things I didn’t like are really what I didn’t like and fewer people like them would be great.
Pattern 7 – Relocation
I might start to relocate myself to move closer to groups of people who like what I like and distance myself from people who like the things I don’t like.
At first, this may turn into excitement to be around the people who we seem to like the same things.
While at the same time this may turn into resentment towards the people who seem to like the things I don’t like.
Pattern 8 – No Matter Where I Go There I Am
I then see no matter where I go there I am and there will be people who like the things I like and people who don’t like the things I like and who like the things I don’t like and who want me and others to like the things they like.
Pattern 9 – Suffering
I see I am causing my own suffering by clinging to the things that I like and avoiding the things that I don’t like.
I am aware of the Buddhist philosophy teachings I learned from participating in the Vipassana 10-Day Silent Meditation Retreat that all human suffering is due to attachment and aversion.
Pattern 10 – Seeing the Shift
Photo by Sohel Patel from Pexels
I shift out of the past patterns and see the old patterns are in reaction to past fear, pain avoidance, and survival and come with a sense of tension, fighting for and against, being stopped, and selfishness. I notice I was a human doing with a lot I needed to do and with a lot undone.
I now see there are patterns that seem to persist without a reference to a reaction. These patterns look like unconditional love and unity and come with a sense of ease, peace, flow, and generosity. I am aware I am a human being with nothing that needs to be done.
Pattern 11 – Grief and Habit Breaking
I now have an option to let go of the old patterns that no longer serve me or the world. I may sense grief and loss from the identity I falsely claimed based on the old patterns.
I may also sense a tension between my past habits and my new options.
At this point, I may go to a place of resignation and do nothing because there are no problems in the world and there are no needs.
Pattern 12 – Choice and Contribution
I can now come from a place of creation and choose my ways of being and what to do from a world of possibility for no reason at all from a place of a full-spectrum of expression and contribution.
I now see life is about being present and co-creating in every moment. Every moment is a possibility unfolding and created newly through discovering and dancing with what is emerging that never was and never will be again.
I now sense peace knowing there is freedom in every moment to choose together as a co-creation. In every moment we choose to celebrate and honor our unfolding created selves, the emerging present moment, and the co-evolving world.
Inspiring Three Small Actions
In this article, I have shared 12 patterns to shift to an authentic purpose and generosity.
In a world where all is well and wherever you are is perfect, which pattern do you notice you are in?
Which pattern do you notice your partners are in?
Which pattern do you notice your team is in?
Which pattern do you notice your organization is in?
In what ways has this article inspired your unique expression of leadership in the world?
What three small actions could you commit to inspired by this article?
Thank you to all of my relations especially my mentors, colleagues, clients, and students who inspire me in every interaction. Thank you to the MKP men and partners who have witnessed and stood for my commitment.
With love and gratitude,